It's 3:30 in the morning...

...and I can't sleep. I've gotten little amounts of sleep for the past couple of days. I'm just...I don't even know. I avoid going to bed at night. I hate going to bed alone. I don't care that I share a room with my sister. It's not the same.

So here I am. It's 3:30 in the morning and I'm listening to The Spill Canvas "All Over You". My eyelids are heavy. But I need to get this blog out. If I don't, I'll be laying in bed all night with these thoughts. How do I put these words down? How do I word them?

...

It's been like 10 minutes and I've been starting at the blinking cursor. I'm not sure if it's the music that's distracting me or if I'm just honestly at a loss for words. I just need to get this out but I'm scared and sad and...I just don't know.

I want to be with him. I want to be with him so bad that whenever we talk, I just hope that he feels the same way. It's like when we talk...he makes me laugh. He's got the same sense of humor as I do. And he's just so ridiculously sweet. We have a lot of things in common, personality wise.

He's older. When he first expressed an interest in me, I was quite surprised because honestly...well...I just wasn't expecting that. It took off from there. I'm planning on showing him this blog.

We flirt, and we tease. We laugh and we talk. I can talk to him about pretty much everything.

Shit. It's almost 4 in the morning and I still can't word this right. I should probably do this when I'm more awake and not out of it.

The gist is that I wanna be with him. Really bad. I can picture us together. I can picture us happy.

I want him to know that.

This blog is incredibly laughable at me trying to pinpoint my feelings. It's like...happiness, content, but at the same time...a little lonely-ish? I'm not sure.

Fuck it, I'm going to bed.